How to avoid housework

Fact 1:  Homes that contain children get dirtier than those that don’t.

Fact 2:  Housework is a right pain.

I keep a copy of the following poem in a drawer and read it whenever I’m feeling inadequate (most days then):

I hope my child looks back on today

And sees a parent who had time to play

There will be years for cleaning and cooking

But children grow up when you’re not looking

So settle down cobwebs and dust go to sleep

I’m cuddling my baby and babies don’t keep


Get in there.

There’s just one problem.  My children aren’t babies any more.  But if yours are – and I’m sure toddlers count too and, what the hell, even primary school kids – I suggest you print out your own copy of this poem and jolly well make the most of it.

Can’t justify this ruse because your children are too old?  Then leave the hoover out at all times.  If someone pops by unexpectedly and the place is a tip, you were obviously just about to make a start on the housework.


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