Tag Archive | Christmas

My family’s secret vices

Does your family eat round the table together every night?  We don’t.  We sometimes (whisper it) eat on the sofa in front of the telly.

I can only admit this because I’m anonymous on here.

While I’m on a roll….. we, en famille, sometimes:

  • Have frozen pizzas for supper.
  • Watch crap TV.
  • Stuff down bumper packs of sweets in one go.
  • Stay up too late.
  • Sleep through four alarm clocks in the morning.

I’ll be honest; we’ve done all of the above in the last 24 hours.

We’re not perfect.  I bet you’re not either.  Come on, it’s Christmas (ish).  If we can’t chill out now, when can we?


How to annoy people this Christmas

Family newsletters are about to make their annual appearance.

Middle class parents up and down the country are typing away this very minute, driven by the need to let everyone know:

  • How successful they are.
  • How clever and talented their offspring are.
  • How busy the whole family is.
  • How rich they are.
  • Which exotic locations they’ve visited this year.
  • How many ‘great’ friends they have (hence the need for this blanket mailing).

If you’re the recipient of such a newsletter, you could be forgiven for thinking:

  • If I’m a ‘great’ friend, don’t I already know all this?
  • If I’m not a ‘great’ friend, do I care?  (No.)
  • Get over yourself.

If, on the other hand, you’re thinking of producing your own family newsletter this year, why not redirect your efforts into handwriting a few carefully chosen, personal words in Christmas cards instead?

Trust me.  You’ll make a far better impression.